Moonstuck: The Novelisation
by Eastonia
Summary: A sufficiently curious audience. A pensieve that strangely works only in grayscale. Many stories are left untold by the creators of the show. Luna just happens to be the star of one of them. After all, if you were Princess Luna and stuck on the moon... What would you do? A story about a humour blog about a pony on the moon. Written with the permission of egophiliac.
1. Prologue: Welcome to the Moon

**AN** :-

I first started writing this back in 2014. It was posted on FIMFiction. Real life happened. I intend to finish this. That's all.

* * *

 **Prologue: Welcome to the Moon (And it's Dark Side)**

* * *

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria lived a librarian turned princess.

But this is not her story.

Half the time I wonder what it would have been like if I never went to the moon... You know what? It happened so I'll just leave it at that.

Because despite the voices, the random things that happened and well, Blueblood. I wouldn't have it any other way.

You want to know why? Well, I'd best show you. Oh and sorry, but my pensieve only shows things in grayscale.

 _Princess Luna strode over to a cupboard. She started to open it when a thought seemed to occur to her._

Okay there are a few things you need to know before we go into any of this...

Don't laugh.

I was only a _little_ filly back then. So I called myself Woona.

You're laughing...

Stop laughing! Or I'll not let you look in the pensieve!

 _The sight of the Princess pouting snaps you out of your laughing fit as the massive amounts of cuteness radiating from her stops you from thinking of anything else_

Thank you.

Now, it's a rather involved memory, and you'll occasionally hear an overarching narrator – that's normal. I added it for your viewing enjoyment. You'll also see dreams and daydream, as well as... Well, hear them.

You know how some people have an inner narration? My inner decision making process sounds like a thousand people all clamouring for me to do different things. And then I choose the most general consensus out of all of them.

Yes.

I know that I'm stalling.

Fine.

Here's the first memory...

 _You, the viewer watch as the Princess of the Night gathered a pool of silver out from her head. Her magic gently encased the memory in a royal blue glow as she carried it over to the pensieve. The pensieve the alicorn poured the memory into was odd. It looked like it was made from seaweed for one. And it was interwoven with several different things: - there was this feather that crackled with energy, what looked like a strand of changeling hair and this beautiful glowing flower interlocked in the weave of the basket-like pensieve. Then you notice that she was, in fact, waiting for you to follow her. Embarrassed you quickly make your way over to her and duck your head in._

* * *

Yes, we are on the moon. You do know I did come here from time to time before I got banished right? It is my territory after all.

And no, Tia does not visit the sun. That's stupid – it's a giant ball of gas! Where would she stand?

Alright. See that over there?

That's me as I was – Princess Woona. Be overcome with my cuteness at that age. I know I am, and well, it's me.

 _True enough, you the viewer see an extremely cute little alicorn filly standing on the surface of the moon looking about in confusion._

Now, I'm going to stop talking. Things are about to get good.

* * *

Woona looked about the moon in confusion. How did she get here? Why was she here? Why couldn't she remember? The little filly wondered what she was going to do when the random thought of retrieving her own hooves popped into her mind.

Which was rather silly actually – she was wearing her hooves.

She shrugged and continued looking about the moonscape wondering what she could do now. Tapping her hooves against the ground she recalled how Tia told her about how the thingie that kept all ponies from flying off into space was weaker on the moon. For a second Woona wondered if she should hop across the moon in a happy fashion even as a sudden tingle came over her cute little body.

She might never 'boing' as high ever again.

So she crouched low to the 'ground' and sprang up with all the might in her little hooves.

And kept going.

Up and up and up and up and forever into space...

Woona shook her head briskly to clear her mind of the waking-dream.

"Whoa, that'll be a bad end. And then I'll need to respawn..."

After all, that tingle she felt just now was the strength of her sheer cuteness keeping her tethered on the moon – even she understood that. And with that Woona sat down to meditate. Something reminded her that she had not done her magic workout that day – and when she didn't, strange things tended to happen. Strange things always happened when she didn't raise the moon. Tia always insisted that she did so, so she did.

Strangely, Woona found that it was a lot easier to lift the moon when she was on it. It didn't take quite as much out of her as usual, but, hey Tia wasn't around to make her continue. Which was how little Woona decided to slack off. Just for the day, raising the moon was hard work after all, especially when you were on the moon.

Anyway, playtime!

And since Woona was alone, she could do anything. Anything at all. Like... Being alone in a hardboiled manner! (She always secretly wanted to do that. Tia wouldn't let her.)

There was a reason why Tia said things happen when Woona didn't use enough magic.

As Woona draped herself back against well, nothing (kicking back in a sufficiently badass manner); a chair materialized, along with a rather fashionable fedora (if she did say so herself). She suddenly felt like ingesting lots of coffee and hardboiled eggs (which was a little silly, Tia would never allow her near the coffee – her sister claimed she was hyper enough). A number of witty quips and sarcastic one-liners sprung into her mind (most of which would have made Tia shake her head and say 'precocious child...'), and she felt like keeping an eye out for any suspicious-looking dames.

"You have gained 30 Hardboiled Points."

A robotic sounding voice echoed through the recesses of space as a hoof-size number thirty (which for some reason was wearing a hat) drifted onto the ground next to her chair.

Woona shrugged and walked away from her chair of hardboiled-ness. As much as she enjoyed it, stargazing sounded brilliant right now for some reason. The stars glinted in the filly's teal eyes as she looked happily at them. Then what looked like a duplicate of herself zoomed past, screaming.

"Wait. What?" Woona said incredulously as she shook her head to rid herself of the image.

It didn't work.

Thinking that checking the Hardboiled Points Leaderboards would help her take her mind of things, she used a bit of her magic to it bring up. She knew that seeing herself in the first rank would...

Seriously?

I mean seriously?

Oh come on! How in Equestria did this Blueblood guy beat her in Hardboiled-ness? Thirty Hardboiled points was as high as anypony can get! And how were you supposed to get a tenth of a point? It didn't make any sense.

Pouting, she slouched onto the fine 'dirt' of the moon. Running her hoof in patterns until she realised what she was drawing.

Tia and her. Together.

And for the first time since Woona randomly woke up on the celestial body she was responsible for, she felt utterly alone.

* * *

 _You look over at the Princess as she retrieved the memory from her pensieve. Another memory gently swirls about within her magic as you adjust back to the world outside the pensieve. Colours seem more vivid than ever. The grayscale sure did a number on your eyes. (For a moment you wonder if that is truly how Winona saw the world.) You try to subtly wipe at the barely there tears, but of course the Princess noticed. You never get away with anything._

Are you alright? You seemed troubled.

 _You shake your head briskly and tell her about the last scene you watched before being pulled out of the pensieve._

Ah, yes, that. Do you want to continue?

Yes?

Okay then...

I promise you that it will get better. I will not spoil the story for you but I will tell you this, every story has it's highs and lows. Points in which you rejoice with the characters and points in which you cry with them. That (and a good plot - no pun intended) is what makes a good story great. With that, are you ready to dive back in?

 _As you nod at her, she poured her memory into the pensieve. Breathing deeply, you re-immerse yourself in the story._

* * *

Woona stared at her picture and drew up her resolve. She was not going to let herself think about that, after all, she was in the middle of a mystery! And first things first in any mystery is to scan your surroundings. In particular for other lifeforms. So Woona donned her trusty scouter to scan the moon for other lifeforms. However, she seemed to have forgotten the first principle of scouters, which is that you must never operate it under zero-gravity. (You see, the lack of gravity causes fluctuations in the mechanisms, which sometimes can cause weird things to happen to the device.) As there's currently no gravity on the moon, Woona's trusty scouter gave up the ghost - plainly put, it was rendered useless. (Yes, Woona here was forcibly reminded that the 'thingie' Tia told her about was in fact, gravity.)

"Oh well."

Woona sighed as she looked at her now broken scouter - mentally planning the small moon funeral she would give the formerly trusty device, before shrugging - it was not as if she was going to find anything else on her level of cuteness here. But just to make sure, she scanned her surroundings again - this time with her eyes. (Scouter device rendered useless remember?)

During her observation of her surroundings, Woona noted that there was a copious amount of moon expanse, an improbable chair (probably made by her magic - she thinks), her badass hat, and her 30 hardboiled saw absolutely nothing else. And she was rather annoyed at the voices that claimed:-

"Hey look up there! The Woona that launched herself into deep space!"

or

"Can you see the non-existent pumpkin? You can see that right?"

Did those threads not know of the words 'absolutely nothing else'? It seemed not. Quickly, Woona squashed those particular voices in her decision making process, it wouldn't do to have a couple of crazies helping her make the big decisions in life. Although, she might not be able to squash all of them... She gave an equivalent of a mental shrug and decided to deal with any ramifications later.

Still, any hero (or heroine in little Woona's case) needs to have that one pre-journey heroic decision moment - or more simply put, the moment in which they pose (rather badass-ly). One of the threads of her decision-making process suggested she put on the badass hat to do so. So, Woona did. Woona's badass hat caused the pose to come out extremely rugged. (Woona resolutely ignored any thread that cried out that she was using the non-existent pumpkin to strike said pose - when would they get that it was not there?) Any low-life criminal scum hanging about had better watch their ne'er-do-well backs while Woona's on the case ('Yes, yes they better watch their backs' Woona thought).

As the little princess did this, the very same robotic voice that announced the arrival of her hatted (yes she went there, HAT-TED) thirty hardboiled points re-appeared to say

"You gain 10 Hardboiled Points."

The ten Hardboiled Points floated down to the (Woona decided for the sake of simplicity that she would use Equestrian landscape lingo from now on. Trying to say the moon equivalent was too confusing to do at all times - she was after all only a _little_ filly) ground. There was brief flash, the inexplicable announcer then telling her

"Congratulations! Your 30 Hardboiled Points have evolved into a... 40 Hardboiled Points!"

Despite wondering if the inexplicable announcer knew that she knew basic maths Woona was pleased. She smirked

"Eat it, Blueblood! Um, whoever you are. Wherever you are."

But enough dilly-dallying! Woona knew she had to begin her hero's quest. She needed to get the ball rolling. She needed to start figuring out why she was here! She needed to... MOON HER ENEMIES!

Wait. No. No.

Woona shook her head as the thought of using the moon to CRUSH. THEM. ALL appeared in her mind. Firmly, she squashed that particular thread as well, because hey - that would be another bad end. The next thread suggested she explore the dark side of the moon - that seemed sensible enough, and it would help her start her hero's quest so...

Woona ended her hardboiled antics for the time being and took a quick jaunt down over to the dark side of the moon. Which certainly lived up to it's name. It was, well, dark. So dark that she couldn't see a thing around her. She couldn't even admire her own dainty little hooves. It was just that dark.

In retrospect, Woona thought, this outcome should have been obvious.


	2. One: The Observatory (Part 1)

**AN** :- And we come to the end of the content I wrote back in 2014. I'm working on the second chapter. But it's a huge chunk of content (I've got about a hundred images to turn into narration). So it'd be slow coming. But like I said. No one back then had finished a novelisation of Moonstuck.

I intend to do so.

* * *

 **Chapter One: The Observatory (Part 1)**

* * *

 _You shake yourself awake as you pull yourself out of the pensieve-induced trance. Princess Luna looks at you worriedly._

Are you alright?

You just need to get used to the pensieve you say?

 _The Princess of the Night looked pensive as she seemed to consider something._

I've split up the first part of my memories into two to try to get you used to this. I should have warned you that the experience is pretty immersive.

No don't blame yourself for this, it has been quite some time since I have used this.

...So you are sure that you are fine? As you wish.

Maybe if I don't divide up the memories as much you'll get used to the pensieve faster! Do you want to give that a go?

 _Bolstering up your will, you nod. Seeing your affirmation, Princess Luna started pulling out a steady stream of silver. There is so much, a greater amount than before - it seemed at the very least, a volume four times greater than that of the first two combined. A vague part of you wonders how exactly the Princess is going to fit all of that in the shallow hollow of the pensieve. As she spills the memory in you realise that there must be some sort of magic cast on the relic, one that allows it to accommodate any amount of liquid set in it. Briefly you wonder if the spell cast upon it is an undetectable extension charm - specifically keyed to memories of course. Before you can continue along this particular line of thought, the Princess calls you over. Taking a deep breath you plunge your head back into the grayscale world of her memories._

* * *

The world was dark. Fitting, as this was the dark side of the moon.

Woona glanced from side to side, wondering what to do when it hit her, she was an alicorn. A pony that could do arcane magic, in addition to the physical magic of the earth ponies - not to mention the weather and flight based magic of the pegasi. She could use her horn to illuminate her way around the dark side of the moon!

For a second Woona felt like facehoofing. she couldn't believe that she forgot about that.

"What a silly filly I am!"

Woona mustered up all of her adorable pony strength and cast a basic light spell (which, given that this was Woona, should have illuminated the entire dark side of the moon, instantly. However because Woona did not do as dear old Tia said and did not expend enough of her power in raising the moon, the area around her lit up - slowly). Up ahead, Woona could see an ominous-looking cavern, and if she strained her little eyes, she could see that slightly beyond that was a large moon crater.

Woona knew that she really ought to decide where to go next. But, first she would dance an invigorating jig. Just because. And as she did so, the robotic announcer voice returned to say

"Congratulations. You gain 20 points for _sheer class_."

Woona paused.

"Not bad, not bad - but where should I go?"

It struck her suddenly to enter the ominous looking cavern, and as she trotted merrily into the ominous-looking cavern, Woona wondered if this was truly the best choice. But she decided it must be, after all, her highly advanced threading decision making process said so, so it must be so! And as she descended the implausibly-angled stone steps, she noticed that there appeared to be strange words scratched into the walls.

 _On closer inspection, you, the viewer realise that it says 'The cave is a lie'. You decide to save the thought for later, when you can question the Princess about this._

Off in the distance, Woona could hear a curious humming noise. As she walked towards the noise (which of course is what any sentient of normal levels of common sense would do. Which of course is why you don't see too many of those as heroes or heroines of stories) she soon came across two passageways, each identical in creepiness. The left passage appeared to continue downwards, while the right passage appeared to lead upwards.

"Now what?" Woona asked herself.

As Woona's decision process ran, she found that maybe she could afford to be more dapper. Her fluctuating magic soon made a dapper top hat and moustache materialise onto her being. While it certainly did not help her decide whether to take the left or right passage (after all, which top hat ever did that?), it did afford her a level of dignity as she pondered her decision. And as Woona sat there the robotic voice reappeared

"You gain +5 jauntiness."

Woona stopped and wondered for a second where this voice was coming from.

 _You, the viewer wonder how it was possible for the memory to interact with the overarching narrator - although the overarching narrator sounded pretty mechanical. Then you remember the Night Princess excelled in subconscious magic, her memories were memories, but she was probably showing you, the viewer an embellished copy. And as she said the embellishments were not that large, just the reactions to the robotic sounding announcer._

Shrugging, Woona's decision making processes finally decided that when in doubt, to go left. She proceeded down the left passage, thinking 'up is for suckers' and after some thoroughly uninteresting trotting, she found herself in a small chamber. It helds some kind of machine with a half-open control panel, a mysterious chest with a padlock, and some weird stupid toast-dropping game or something along that like. Because Woona was still wearing her conjured top hat (she did not know where her moustache went, although it did not affect her that much), she was able to regard all this with an air of dapper dignity.

But being easily distracted without something to focus her mind on - (she was, after all only a _little_ filly) she soon turned her attentions to the toast dropping game. Woona proceeded to waste several hours of her life playing the game. As she she checked the leaderboards for the game she stretched her back and wings as she said

"Finally! I've achieved the perfect score of... Wait a second..."

Upon the leaderboards, Woona found herself yet again number two - to this Blueblood guy.

"Wait, what? What? Seriously? Again? Are you being serious? This game only has a maximum of 100 points! It says so in this ridiculous rulebook! How is it possible that this Blueblood guy... Girl... WHOEVER! Get one extra point... He _has_ to be a hacker."

Pouting for a while, Woona turned to the mysterious chest with a padlock. As she wondered just how she was going to open it - no, casting an 'Alohomora' would be cheating - she started to pound her dapper top hat fruitlessly against the padlock - which in retrospect was a silly idea, but then again she didn't think that it really would have worked.

No, if she was going to force the lock open using brute force, she should... Use her magic to mimic the dapper top hat beating her against the padlock! No. That is an even sillier idea.

But... The increase in mass might be enough to...

Woona paused after a couple of hits - okay so it did not work, unsurprisingly...

Woona pouted

"Okay it's not as if cuteness would be enough to open the lock. Would it?"

Woona decided that it couldn't hurt to try and turned to give the padlock a penetrating stare of pure, unbridled adorableness. After a minute she stopped, the lock remained well, locked.

"Yeah, once again my efforts prove..."

The lock clicked open and Woona cheered.

"SUCCESS! Wait, how did that work?"

Woona shrugged, she wasn't going to question why the method worked, after all, if it worked, it worked. Simple as that.

Having defeated the padlock, Woona decided that she might as well see what fruits her hard work had produced - hopefully pomegranates (Woona didn't quite know how she felt about apples). So she stood on her tippy-hooves to peer adorably inside the chest. Inside she found a gentlepony's fine monocle, a spiffing bart, a pair of moon-patterned socks, a mysterious scroll, and various pieces of jewelry.

For some stupid reason, Woona thought it would be best to wear the socks on her ears, she knew that she looked ridiculous, but at least her ears felt warm. The better idea would be to wear the socks over her legs. In fact, she couldn't get out of her head the thought that wearing the socks properly and frolicking before doing anything else was imperative to her mission.

So she did.

Woona donned the moon-patterned socks and cavorted gaily about the room. Somehow, she felt as though this was her true purpose in life... Finding her life's true purpose aside, there was still a lot of dress up items in the chest. Woona decided that she would next equip her dapper top hat (that she mysteriously conjured), along with the gentlepony's fine monocle, and spiffing bart (Woona had no clue as to where her conjured moustache went). A neatly tied black bowtie appeared (so that was where the magic that went into making her previous moustache had gone to). The robotic announcer returned, but this time it sounded a whole lot more dignified. And for some reason it adopted a slightly 'Eaglish' accent.

"I say! This combination gives you the class of Canterlot Elite. You gain +5 Tea-Sipping, +10 Snobbiness, and the ability to cast Monocle Drop."

For some reason, Woona felt a terrifyingly strong urge to go 'DO HO HO' and twirl her moustache. But she resisted and took off the combination. After all, she still had another outfit to try on and anyways... Dress up was fun.

Woona decided to wear the jewellery, it was after all what it was made for. So, she put on the tiny Crown, the itty-bitty necklace, and the widdle shoes. Woona looked around, the room was strangely silent, the robotic voice appeared not to have returned this time. Woona sighed and started to move away when...

"This combination gives you the class of Littlest Princess. You gain + 1,000,000,000,000 cuteness and the ability to cast Royal Canterlot Voice"

Woona sighed,

"I should have expected that."

And with that she turned her attentions on the scroll she had decided to use her Royal Canterlot Voice on it, taking a deep breath she inhaled as much as she could, and with a mighty exhalation, she proceed to sing the song of her people full-force at the poor mysterious scroll. This was accompanied with the quietest exclaimation of joy she could muster - unfortunately for Woona, as she forgot to undo the spell, this meant the 'yay' that she produced was extremely loud.

It suddenly occurred to Woona that the best way to use the mysterious scroll would have been simply to unravel it to read. As she unfurled the scroll she found that it appeared to be a Lunar Map. Which meant to Woona that buried treasure might be hidden somewhere on the silly floating rock she was currently on (of course she was being sarcastic, she loves the darn thing). She knew that she had to treat this valuable relic like the sacred piece of history that it is. Or, she could make a hat.

So she made a hat (and wore it - what else do you do with a hat? Woona couldn't exactly busk on the moon - she didn't have her lisence for that.)

After that Woona glanced around the room she was in. For the first time she noticed that it was actually a rather small chamber. Surrounding her was a machine with a half-open control panel, the previously-investigated chest, and the toast-dropping game. Then the voice reappeared.

"You are currently equipped with the Cartographer's Cap, Itty-Bitty Necklace, and Widdle Shoes. You are bestowed with a +5 sense of direction."

Woona raised a single brow and deadpanned,

"Yes, because I didn't know what I was wearing..."

She stopped to consider the voice.

"- But that statistic update is actually pretty helpful..."

Woona decided to pop her head out into the corridor very quickly, as she peered cautiously outside she noted that the coast was clear - which should mean she was safe for the time being.

Trotting back into the chamber Woona decided to name the machine Jeffery, and craft a backstory and personality for him.

 _You, the viewer lean in closer. You think that this would be a pretty funny story. Then, the memory seems to fast forward. Briefly you glare weakly at the Moon Princess, but she shrugs. You guess she was right - it would have been long-winded._

Woona shook herself out of her 'creative' mode and stopped to think for a second about what she was doing.

"Wow, how bored am I?"

She then glared at the ceiling of the chamber,

"And don't you dare say a word! It's rhetorical!"

Woona was bored, bored enough to attempt engineering - although she had no prior experience with anything of the like.

Making use of the loose panel, she popped Jeffery open to take a peek at the secrets he holds. Inside was a switch with the label of 'Moon's Gravity' on it. The switch in particular was clicked into the 'off' position - so that was why gravity wasn't working! In her infinite wisdom, Woona decided to flip the switch up and down a bunch of times really fast.

"Oh, nice going, you just broke it." The robotic announcer announced.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Woona growled at the disembodied voice, she then proceeded to freak out. A thread in her decision making process told her to hit the controls with her hat in the hopes of fixing it, and she did so as the robotic announcer had a breakdown.

"OH GOSH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! FIX IT! FIX IT! FIX IT! FIX IT!"

"I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!" Woona yelled at it (some part of her briefly questioned her level of sanity - she was after all yelling at a disembodied robotic voice - but it rolled over and went back to it's nap).

Despite everything, Woona's ill-advised attempts at maintenance seemed to have only made Jeffery worse. Woona was on the verge of hoof biting. Only one part of her mind could be heard - and it sounded rather like this:-

"Oh no! I'm in big trouble! What if somepony finds out that I was the one who broke it? I might be grounded (Or even sent to the moon for a Thousand Years! Ultimate Time Out! Wait, aren't I already on the moon?)! I need to think of another pony to take the fall!"

Woona affixed a hastily-scribbled note (saying 'I did it - Blueblood) to try to divert suspicion, and then sneaked away in a comically over-anthropomorphised manner. Briefly she wondered what the repercussions of the constant flicking 'on' and 'off' of the moon's gravity would a done. This made an image of an alternate her hitting the ground at high speed spring to mind.

Woona shook it out of her mind as she trotted out of the chamber, fleeing the scene of the crime. She found herself back in the hall and with her increased sense of direction (not to mention that more areas were becoming lit, this was because her basic light spell was getting stronger as time went by) she peered into a previously darkened area and suddenly realised that there was a third passage there all along. She determined that the leftmost passage leads downwards, where she had just come from. And that the middle passage appears to lead upwards. The rightmost passage appears to lead straight on.

Woona stood in between the two passages, wondering where to go when her compulsive need to do things in left-to-right order caused her to choose the middle passage, and after a short trot she found herself in the Moon Observatory. A large window on one side of the room overlooked the moonscape outside, just in front of that - obviously for viewing pleasure - stood pair of binoculars (thankfully it didn't seem the type that needed a constant stream of bits to use). A small alcove on the wall held books and knick-knacks of various sort and just left to the binoculars was a comfortable-looking cushion. It seemed just the thing to rest her royal flank on, or take naps on.

But a strange thread of thought in Woona's decision making centre decided that she was going to put the pillow on her head.

"How is this a good idea?"

Woona said as she placed the pillow back on the floor. Which she proceeded to curl up to take a nap on.

 _Woona's dream appeared in a crayon cartoon styled thought bubble over her head. You, the viewer could see that Woona was dreaming about being a swashbuckling pirate engaged in an epic sword fight with the legendary ponies of the sea. Also there's a chicken for some reason. You don't quite know why._

Woona woke up feeling recharged, she decided that she had enough adorable dreaming! It was time to get back to business. Even if she did not quite know what said business was. Woona trotted over to the binoculars to peer through to the moonscape outside. Looking straight on, Woona could see the improbable chair (that she conjured), the 30 hardboiled points, and absolutely nothing else.

Once again a thread in her decision making process told her to focus on the pumpkin. She took to squashing it with undue amounts of glee - when were those threads going to get that there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE over there? But then the random thought that on the soviet moon, the landscape would see the binoculars through her shut everything else up for a bit - peace and quiet (a very rare phenomenon in Woona's head).

As she turned the binoculars left, Woona saw a a set of mysterious hoofprints leading across the dust and beyond the horizon. She also saw a strange mark further to the left. Turning the binoculars further left, Woona saw a series of strange markings that appeared to be curiously familiar. Looking away from the binoculars for a moment, Woona unfolded the map from the hat shape and looked at it. Then looked back at the markings on the moon. And then looked back at the map, and then back at the marking on the moon before shrugging.

"I never realised that maps were so literal."

But there's no time to lose! Woona put on her cutest expression of determination and resolved to set off at once for the circle with the 'X'. After all, it was obvious that something was buried there. But then she stopped, she realised that it could be a long journey, and that she didn't exactly knows what lied in wait at the end?

"Maybe provisions would be a good idea..."

So Woona decided to check the small alcove to see if there might be anything even vaguely useful. On it she could see a large snowglobe, coated in a layer of dust, next to three hefty tomes, these were: 'Underwater Basket-Weaving: a Foal's Guide'; '300 More Advanced Sudoku Puzzles'; and 'Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-Alls that are Simply Super'. But behind the tomes appeared to be something hidden.

It happened to be a note which read 'The key is in the shell./ soon / ss / ou / ia',

Woona gathered up the books that she recklessly flung to the ground in her haste to get to it. They were after all, probably priceless. And anyway, the note didn't make any sense - there were no shells anywhere around here. Woona knew - she checked.

Woona decided that now was as good a time as any to take a break. So she settled down with 'Underwater Basket-Weaving: a Foal's Guide' and read it cover-to-cover. This of course prompted the return of the robotic announcer.

"You have gained a new ability! You can now weave baskets underwater. There is no possible way that this was a waste of your time."

Woona blinked.

"And now it has the ability to add commentary."

In the name of procrastination, Woona decided that she would admire the snowglobe. She peer closely into it, inside being depiction of a heartwarming scene between two ponies on a winter's day. Woona proceeded to shake it violently up and down while pretending that she is a capricious snow-god raining her frozen wrath down upon the helpless peons below.

But it got boring - and the best cure for that was to of course jump out of the Observatory Tower. With a little help from '300 More Advanced Sudoku Puzzles', Woona shattered the observatory window and flung herself dramatically from its height. As she crashed into the ground (forgetting to even open her wings to slow the fall) the announcer returned.

"You are not a clever pony."

Woona groaned.

"It's official, whatever it is is now running commentary."

Woona's decision centre decided it was best to wear one of the books as a saddle. So, she picked herself up, thoroughly unembarrassed, and draped her copy of '300 More Advanced Sudoku Puzzles' over her back as protection from…moondust or something. When she finished she sighed and waited.

"Oh, who are you kidding, you just like playing dress-up."

"You know, you are getting pretty annoying." Woona yelled into the sky.

"Hey. I'm just doing my job. Hard times you know?"

"Fine..."

Woona proceeded heroically to the 'X' but soon found that the moon seemed a lot smaller through the binoculars.

 _You, the viewer wondered just how Woona was breathing on the moon. The memory grew fuzzy as a new version of the little princess you had been watching appeared. She was wearing glasses and a lab coat, and she dragged a black board behind her. The blackboard in particular was heavily marked up with equations and the like._

 _"Hi. I am B. Luna, the Science Woona! Through a process known as adorasynthesis, my body exudes a constant aura of Cuteness Overload (CO), which combines with naturally-occuring elements of D'aww (D) and Hnngh (H) to be absorbed back into my body as oxygen. If you'd like I could give you the formula?"_

 _Stunned you, the viewer can only do one thing. Nod._

 _"Okay so it is 2nCO2 + 2nDH2... You got that?"_

On her way to the 'X', a herd of Wild Moon Rocks appeared. This of course prompted Woona to pick up the biggest rock that she could find and, with a fierce battle cry, she flung it into the herd of Wild Moon Rocks.

"The herd of Wild Moon Rocks levelled up!"

"Yes, I noticed!"

Woona then did the only thing she could do. She summoned her dapper top hat from the chest and proceeded to wow the Wild Moon Rocks with the classiness of her marshmallowy dancing (those 20 sheer class points sure came in handy). And the sheer amount of class Woona exuded during the dance was so great that the Wild Moon Rocks not only deferred to her superior dancing skills, but they declared her their queen (Even if with it was in Woona's opinion that it was kind of fish-like flailing about)!

"You gain +3 Diplomacy Points"

"Why only +3?"

"They are rocks."

"Don't hurt their feelings!"

Woona felt accomplished today. She gained the trust and loyalty of the moon rocks (it was infamously hard to do either)! So Woona leapt atop the Wild Moon Rocks and commanded them to carry her to the destination marked on her Cartographer's Cap.

"Oh wait, rocks don't move." She suddenly realised.

The rocks felt bad about their uselessness as a means of transportation (take that announcer!), but Woona set about reassuring them. She told them that they may turn out to be helpful later on and that she had decided to take one with her, just in case. Woona placed the Wild Moon Pebble under her Cartographer's Cap for safekeeping.

Meanwhile, following the mysterious trail of hoofprints that Woona dismissed a shadow made it's way down through the cavern and to the chamber which held Jeffery.

Going back to Woona, making sure that the Wild Moon Pebble safely secured. Once Woona felt safe about carrying the pebble underneath her cap, she decided that it was about time that she got back to her all-important mission. But that didn't mean she couldn't do it…in style (yes, Woona decided that she would moonwalk to the 'X'). And she did. All the way to the X.

But just before she actually stepped on the 'X' a thread of her decision making process interrupted her, telling her that she better make sure it was a 'X' and not a badly written 'Y' or 'K'.

Woona stared at the 'X'. "Yep, that's an X, all right. Can't get any more 'X'-y than this."

Another thread suggested she do a series of image enhancements on the 'X'. So Woona conjured up her laptop (they looked a lot like glasses) and whipped up a GUI interface in Visual Basic and proceed to vector in on the bitmap's IP Address. After a while the 'X' seemed pretty unchanged.

"This was a pointless endeavor"

"I KNOW!" Woona screamed back at the disembodied robotic commentator.

Woona thought about how pointless everything seemed. She might as well lie down on the centre of the 'X' and make a dust angel. At least that would be extra-adorable not to mention fun. So Woona trotted to the center of the X and began making a dust ang-

"OH NO! WHAT DID YOU DO NOW?" The robotic voice freaked as loud siren-like blaring echoed across the moon.

Woona got up to run for her life, muttering,

"It's a trap. It's a trap, of course it's a trap. It's a trap. IT'S A TRAP!"

Woona was so caught up in her panic that she actually didn't move more than a hoof when the 'X' opened up beneath her and she fell.


End file.
